TBH. To Be Honest
We’ve occasionally listened to some podcasts entitled TBH History. We enjoy the lighthearted approach to historical events, but they are solid.
Not long ago, I desired to take the TBH approach as well on my blog. TBH includes truth, and maybe it’s not all Pinterest-worthy, but I’d rather just be real.
TBH, since the last UBC (Ultimate Blog Challenge) I’ve done very little blogging. Very few actual blog posts. I’ve kept up with the blog hops, and that’s almost it.
Why in the world did I jump into this month’s challenge? TBH, I have no idea. I just did it with no pressure to blog every day if I can’t.
Since July (and I dropped out of that one), life has just sucked us in. I admit that it plowed over me many days. Some days I didn’t feel like I could even fight the overwhelmedness I felt. Just too much to mentally juggle.
Many of my closest relationships were struggling, and I could see that it wasn’t just everyone else. Stress and internal struggles were changing me into a person that I didn’t like.
At my lowest day, when nobody at all knew how dark it was, I met someone. And she kind of got under my skin, for no reason. Yes–because she kept smiling all the time. And she praised the Lord, and recounted all of His goodness. Just like I’m supposed to do, but somehow couldn’t because of the load I shouldered.
I saw her and her family and decided that they had it different. That made me feel a little better, I guess. Not really, but I needed a reason to not relate to her at first.
The second time I actually talked to her was that super low time, when my heart was just so heavy. Worries, cares, real burdens. Physical symptoms in my body screaming the truth of my stress–I was in pain, I was tired, and my heart was bruised.
I had not given up on God, nor did I feel angry with Him–I was just worn out and struggling to remember the goodness.
Wouldn’t you know it, somehow this lady started talking to me. I very guardedly hinted at a couple of my stresses, and was surprised to hear that she had been through those.
- Living 3-4 years in a small camper with 5? Yep
- No home to call her own for so long? Did that.
- Homeschooling with everything packed in boxes? That too.
- Raw land, and that whole ball of wax? Not exactly, but pretty similar scenarios. Theirs maybe worse since they lived way up North.
- No water/hauling water in? Did that. Only they had to break ice to get the water.
- Setbacks? Umm hmm!
- Delays? Yes
- Disappointments? Yes
- Trying to balance building, school, life while homesteading in an un-ideal setting? Yes
- Trying to understand and explain why we’re doing this, when it’s so much harder than “normal life”? Absolutely!
- Buying new stuff because we can’t find something “we know we have somewhere”? Oh, yeah–they did that too. Too much.
- And so much more.
Where they came through what she referred to as their wilderness years, smiling on the other side, I wondered what in the world was wrong with me? The long delay had sucked the life juice out of me, and I felt sapped.
We can’t truly compare, and really shouldn’t. Sometimes it’s hard to say why some react differently to similar situations. I in no way am suggesting that this family experienced easier trials, nor do I see them on some pedestal.
That nagging thought kept coming back. They went through similar trials, which dragged out for them too. Yet they came out on the other side joyful.
To be continued tomorrow.
I really like this TBH approach!! It is no small thing that your paths have crossed and your experiences are so similar. I look forward to hearing “the rest of the story”. Until then, hugs my dear friend!
I was trying to post one per day so I did the conclusion today since the first part was supposed to be yesterday’s.
It’s good to kind of write it out and get some perspective.