No One Pukes Alone

No One Pukes Alone

That’s my motto. Around our home, a puking person gets a hand on the back, a cool cloth to the head, and a supportive family member standing by. No one likes to puke alone.

So I’m a nurse. That means I’m trained in all manner of bodily projections, explosions, and dribbles. I’ve been covered with it all, and been assaulted with many human aromas over the years.

Still…there is one scent that stirs up the churning in me—and that’s the distinctive aroma of vomitus. I guess in more ways than one, no one pukes alone, because the smell can really trigger a chain reaction of wretching, or at least the heaving prior to the actual event. I will always offer my support to a vomiting person, especially a family member, but I usually have to turn my head and steel myself, lest I join right in. You know—no one pukes alone!

This week has been a very long week.

I have discovered the secret to time practically standing still.

All you have to do is get really sick and you’ll see how those days that you thought zipped by really drag out, one second at a time. Lie in bed for a day, unable to sleep, but completely zapped of energy, head or body aching, and you, too, will find the secret to time slowing down.

Oh, yeah! It’s like a time machine in slow-mo!

It kind of works when family members get sick too, although for them time stops, and for you, it could speed up, as you wonder how many trips upstairs you can legitimately make in a day. Nursing sick patients is humbling and satisfying until they tell you that your breath stinks (hmm…after staying up the entire night, ya think?).

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Mostly, while people are sick, they’re pretty subdued, though. It makes it easier. I think I only tangled with one, when I had to push electrolyte fluids on him to keep him out of the hospital. I had to invoke the Mean Mama Nurse/Sergeant role just a time or two. Grr…

Dropping Like Flies

At this point, EVERY.SINGLE.ONE.OF.US. have succumbed to this horrid virus that prompts vomiting, steals every ounce of energy, and then further depleted us by draining us out the back end. For me, throw in a severe headache, eye aches, and body aches. Oh, what fun!

After making its way through the boys, it finally hit me Sabbath morning. I didn’t even know what was going on, I just couldn’t pull myself out of bed. I wasn’t particularly nauseated, but felt like something was there in my belly. Mid morning found me on my knees in the mulch, puking up my toenails. And I will say, as unglamorous as that feels, my husband coming to rub my back, offer me a cool cloth, and toothpaste—What a Godsend. Don’t ever equate love with only roses and fancy dinners! True love stands by when their loved one is vomiting. 💕

3 am…and Who’s Up Puking?

The really fun part has been the staggering of people. Literally, the bug has hit us every 2-3 days, one by one. So it’s been stretched effectively over more than a week. Just this morning, at 3 am, Greg went down. Or up, as in everything in him coming up.

So…I hear him start to hurl, and because it’s 3 am, you’d think I’d be sleeping. Not really. Trying with no success. Because I’d just awoken from my 30 successful minutes of sleep with a terrifying closure of my airway. I literally could not breathe, in or out. I thrashed around whacking the person in my dream to stop the car, since I was not breathing, but woke up trying to whack Greg and wake him up. He wasn’t there—he was already in the bathroom. I sat up and labored to get myself to cough—try doing that with no air moving. So I was finally wheezing and choking but did get a little air to pass. Greg heard me and called out was I ok, and of course I had no voice beyond a whisper. But I’m thankful that I did wake up. I hope I never experience that again!

We had Greg in the bathroom vomiting. Then, simultaneously, I hear the cat throwing up. No joke.

I go check on Greg, clean up a pile of cat vomit, return to bed, and settle in.

But wait—what’s that?

Tiger puking this time. On our bed. Through every single layer. Seriously?

Clean that up, back to bed. Poor Greg keeps on. I’m not sleeping anyway.

Anybody else?

About at this point, around 4 am, I realize sleep is not going to happen for me. Hence, this blog post. 😉

I remember back to another episode like this one when the kids were smaller. In my sleep-deprived stupor I scrawled out a song. If you can call what I wrote a song, that is.

For your reading pleasure (or pain), here’s the text of that blog post, from 6 1/2 years ago. The boys would have been like 9, 11, and 13. Fun times.

When Mama Gets a Little Sleep Deprived

I wanted to keep this here for my own memory’s sake It’s just a little song I wrote and sent to my family after a night of a strange sickness that stopped by.

Here’s a little song that HAS BECOME FAMOUS overnight. In our house, anyway. To the tune of Deck the Halls… Here we go:

Hark, the sound of children puking

Falalalala lalalala

Just when mommy’s started sleeping

Falalalala lalalala

First the one, and then his brother

Falala lalalalalala

All over the sheets and covers

FALALALALA LALALALA!!!!!!!!

All done now, go back to bed

Falalalala lalalala

Ease your pillow under your head

Falalalala lalalala

Close your eyes, and warm your toesies (skip the next Falalalala….)

What’s that now–it’s a third go-around!!

Jump up quick and pinch your nosies

FALALALALALALALA!!!

Now the worst is surely over.

Falalalalalalalala

Snuggle up, and move the cat over

Falalalalalalalala

Start to dream, What’s that–more hurling sounds!

One more time, trudge to the bathroom

FALALALALALALALALA

Lest you think that I am joking

Falalalalalalalala

Come on now and do your own poking

Falalalalalalalala

Into my great, big,huge laundry pile

Filled with ducks, and pillows and monkeys

FALALALALALALALALA!!! 😜

Me, in another desperate moment

More verses could be added, but I’ve already indulged my creative talents enough for today.

You should know that everybody’s “fine”. Both boys involved in the aforementioned ditty declared themselves “fine” immediately before and after the said episodes. One boy even looked up from his puking and said, “Mom, I don’t know why I’m doing this–I feel just normal.”

I would have felt just normal too, if I’d have been curled up in my bed sleeping. 😌 But, since I spent my night dashing through the halls (oooh, I think I feel another song coming on), you get to experience the joy of me on sleep deprivation, responding to the songs that pop into my tired little brain. 🎶

Tee hee.

Have a good day. I’m doing laundry.

And me? Not doing laundry. Not working either. If I took this bug in, I would not like to see the results. Sometimes it’s better to not share.

Today, if you’re in good health, say a prayer of thanks. Better to enjoy the days speeding by than painfully ticking by from your sick bed!

Be well!